


Amorous Abby

by cutiebiz



Series: What comes between us never survives [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-07 13:07:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4264320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutiebiz/pseuds/cutiebiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's the hardest days that help us to realize how important someone is to us, and how they are worth fighting for until the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

 

 

When John and Dean Winchester found the creature in the woods, its back was to them sitting on a log. Its long, thin hair clung to its skull. John signaled to Dean who made his way towards the figure as quietly as a snake on its belly, a quiet that could only be  learned from being trained nearly your whole life. Dean came closer and could hear it humming, if that's what you could call that rasping, grating sound that it was emitting as it started eating the bleeding heart that was still steaming in the cold Autumn night. Dean tried to keep his breath still as he looked on the scene. The young man who now lay at her feet, lifeless and staring into the night with glossy eyes, was the same age as Dean, 18 and handsome. This had been the MO of this beast: young, attractive men who went to church.

  ** _God didn't do much for_  him  _did he?_**

Dean thought to himself, as he listened to the sickening sound of teeth tearing into flesh and the dripping of blood from the mouth of the creature. It whipped its cow tail back and forth with obvious pleasure.

 They still had no idea what this thing was. John and Uncle Bobby had done a lot of research to find nothing. A big part (probably the biggest part) of the reason why they hadn't figured it out was because they had never _**seen** _ the damn thing. The Winchesters had been out investigating the woods where the third victim had been last seen entering, when they heard a cry from the other side of the forest. They had been armed with their regular guns, which would have worked fine on a man, but it certainly was not going to work on what they found.

 Dean took a moment to observe the creature more. It looked like a naked old woman. She looked to be a hundred years old, with her breasts hanging down to her bellybutton. Her hair was a scraggly grey mess, the little she had of it anyway, and a cow tail swished from her backside. He found his father in the distance, hiding in the trees, ready to flank the creature if necessary. Dean gave him a nod that John returned. They both began their silent retreat. Whatever this thing was, there was no point in attacking it when they were not prepared. It would be suicide and it was obviously too late for _**this** _ poor guy.

 As Dean slowly backed up towards the direction of the Impala that they had parked off the road, hidden from anyone who might be driving at this time of night. He kept his eye on the creature, struggling to keep his breath steady. It wasn't often that he found himself this vulnerable in the presence of a monster. He was about to turn and follow his father in a quiet run for the car, when he felt a large spider fall on his head and scurry down his face, running past his nose and his cheek and then finally trying to take refuge in his ear.

 Dean was used to bugs and spiders, he had been under many houses trying to find hidden hex bags, had explored many attics trying to find cursed objects and didn't even have to mention all of the delightful little creatures one finds while digging up graves.

 He slapped the arachnid away from his ear before it could go all of the way in, making sure to make as little sound as possible while doing this. His breath had quickened but he managed to slow it down almost immediately after he had successfully disposed of the little monster. When his breath had finally returned to normal he realized that he no longer heard humming, nor the thump thump thump of a tail on hollow wood. He turned slowly to look a the log on which it had been sitting to find it empty.

 He tried not to panic as he turned back around to find two huge, brown eyes staring at him. The hag creature was blocking his path to the Impala, a half eaten heart in its hand, its tail swishing back and forth furiously. He lifted his gun to shoot and it knocked his arm away with a thump. He heard his jacket tear, suddenly feeling a sear of pain in his arm. He didn't have time to react before it pushed him down hard onto his stomach, knocking the wind out of him, his head hitting an exposed root and he felt warm blood on his forehead. She stepped over him , planting each foot on either side of his body so he couldn't roll away. He grabbed a knife from his belt and stabbed her in the ankle, rolling onto his back. She let out an unearthly howl from her bloody mouth.

 "Sorry Mrs. Robinson, can't have my heart today!" Dean jeered as he lifted his leg and kicked her to the ground. He scrambled up after grabbing his gun, and pointed it at her.

"DEAN!" he heard a shout from behind him. Recognizing the sound of John's voice, he whirled around to find an almost identical creature right behind him. He jumped back just as it swatted at him with long clawed fingers. He jumped back soon enough to avoid serious injury, but not far enough to keep him from getting three long, bloody gashes across his midsection.

"FUCK!" He cried out in pain, but mostly irritation.

"Bitch, this was a _**new** _ shirt!" He screamed and he shot her in the head, hearing another shot come from behind him. There was a thumping sound of the first creature falling to the floor. He turned and saw the creature lying still on the earth and then looked up at his father. They stood staring at each other panting.

 "Why did you hesitate?" John snapped, his eyes ablaze.

Dean wiped off his knife and said nothing at first and then finally decided upon the safest option:

"I'm sorry sir, it will never happen again."

John seemed to calm down a bit at that and then nodded after a moment.

"C'mon, let's get what we need for the salt and burn."

Dean nodded. As he turned to follow his father, he heard something move behind him. John heard it too and they both turned reflexively in the direction of the sound, their guns pointed, but there was nothing there.... _ **nothing**_.

"Oh, shit," Dean said

" _ **Language**!_ " John corrected automatically, and shuffled slowly to where the monster corpses had been.

"They're gone," he concluded after a moment, and he sighed.

"C'mon let's get back to the car."

 

When the two of them arrived back to the motel, Dean was irritated, bleeding and tired. All he could think about on his way back was Sam.

  ** _Sam_**

He chanted it in his head like a prayer. He never liked to admit it to himself, but that was what he always did and _**had** _ done after a particularly hard hunt or receiving injuries or both. He couldn't wait to be home. Home was where Sam was. Where his spirit could be calm. Sam was his happy place. Dean pushed the thought away abruptly the same way he had smacked the spider away. What was it with these unwelcomed things trying to wiggle their way into his head? Brothers don't think that way about their little brothers. That didn't keep Dean from practically tearing the car door off to get out so he could bolt into the motel room to smell the sweet smell of Sam; to see him, hear his voice. Sam was like air and Dean was drowning. He was about to shut the Impala door behind him when he realized that his father was handing him the Impala keys and was walking towards his truck.  

"You go ahead, Dean, I need some time to clear my head."

John code for "I need to hit the bar, write in my journal and drink until I pass out in the back seat of my truck."

"Yes, sir," he replied and shut the door, turning back to the motel.

 Dean fumbled for the keys, his heart beating rapidly when he saw that the light was still on. Maybe Sam was awake. He unlocked the door to the crappy little motel room and took a deep breath and sighed. It smelled like mildew, dust, old fabric and Sam, who was passed out on the sofa, his casted leg propped up and a history book sprawled across his chest. Dean couldn't help but smile as he crossed the room and knelt beside his brother to listen to his soft breathing. Dean felt a dull ache in his head and sharp stinging ones on his chest and his arm where the creatures had slashed at him.

He stood up and gently took the book from Sam's delicate grasp. Sam's long fingers fell away from it, one hand flopping onto his chest and the other onto his belly, the toned flesh of it somewhat exposed due to the awkward way that Sam had fallen asleep. Dean took a moment to look at those wrists and Sam's beautiful skin and his soft brown hair. Dean felt himself get warmer and he shook his head roughly trying to banish the thoughts. He marked the page in the history book and put it on the coffee table. He put his bleeding and injured arm under his brother's legs carefully, and he wrapped the other under his brother's back, feeling Sam's radiating warmth causing Dean to take a moment to fight his hard on. He almost had it under control when Sam, who seemed to instinctively know what was going on, wrapped his arms lazily around Dean's neck, burrowing his nose into the crook of Dean's shoulder and breathing deeply in his sleep. It took Dean recalling the disgusting, distorted bodies of the crone sisters to get his cock to soften...Sam was so close, so warm and, damn it, he smelled so fucking good.

He lifted Sam up in his arms, Sam's cast sticking out comically, as Dean carried him the short distance from the sofa to his bed. He didn't even consider trying to get Sam out of his jeans to make him more comfortable, his self control being nearly non-existent at this moment. He laid Sam down gently, who was out cold. Dean couldn't remember the last time the kid slept like this. Sam hadn't slept for three days straight, and Dean had the feeling that it had been intentional. Though Sam had chalked it up to having to study and forgetting to sleep, Dean knew that Sam really couldn't rest until he knew that John and Dean were safe, and the two of them had been out every day and every night doing interviews and conducting research, breaking into victim's houses and finding what they could find (though none of it had done much for them so far).

Dean knelt by the bed for a moment, Sam's gangly arms still wrapped around his neck, stroking Sam's hair. When he tried to untangle himself from his brother's grasp, he discovered that Sam really didn't want to let go, so Dean brought his own hands behind his neck and gently dislodged Sam's, bringing them down to Sam's chest, kissing one of them softly.

It took Dean nearly an hour to get cleaned up the way that he liked. The burning scratches on his chest were nasty but didn't require stitches, but the gashes on his arm did. Dean used the mirror to get a good look, as his well practiced hands stitched the gashes shut. Dean knew that his new injuries would lead to a lot of questions from Sam that Dean had been ordered not to answer. On their last hunt, Sam had ignored his broken leg in a cast and had almost gotten himself into some serious trouble trying to help his brother and father, and so John had deemed that, until Sam's leg had healed, he would know nothing about their hunts. Keeping Sam out of the hunts would keep Sam out of trouble that his broken leg hindered him from getting out of.

Sam, of course, hated this rule, but seeing as he couldn't sneak after the two of them in crutches, it proved to be very effective. Because of Sam's vulnerable state, Dean had to be careful not to let anyone know that the three of them were related...while normally if someone tried to abduct Sam to force the hands of the hunters, Sam would have given them a fierce fight, right now the likelihood of Sam escaping was quartered.

After washing up, and doing the nightly safety inspection and lock down, Dean returned to the bed to find that Sam hadn't changed his position. Just looking at him made Dean ache. Dressing his wounds had reminded him of what a close call it had been tonight. He laid down next to Sam and watched him sleep in the moonlight. After nights like this, and when John wasn't around, Dean would lay next to Sam until he felt comfortable enough to go into his own bed. Being close to Sam made Dean feel at ease once more and could usually patch up the kinds of wounds that couldn't be helped by stitches and gauze. In the darkness Dean was free to let his eyes roam over Sam's beautiful cheekbones, his neck, his jawline, his lips, and before he knew what was happening, he was asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wakes up tangled up in Dean with a little....situation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just try to remember how much John is going through. He was certainly not the best parent, but he did love his kids.

When Sam woke up he was greeted by the smell of morning, gunpowder, leather and Dean. He let his eyes flutter open, the dim sunlight assaulting them as he blinked into consciousness. He felt strong arms around him and he realized after a moment that he had not been dreaming, that his face was indeed nuzzled into Dean's neck. He inhaled a sweet lungfull of Dean. He wiggled in a little closer, his body warm against his brother's. 

 

He knew that Dean would secretly come lay next to him sometimes when he thought Sam was asleep after unusually rough nights, but it hadn't been since he was a kid that they'd actually woken up tangled up in each other like this. Sam missed this closeness, missed the feeling of Dean's body against his and secretly longed for so much more. He wanted Dean's hands on him, wanted his lips, his skin. Sam was suddenly painfully aware of his morning wood throbbing in his pants. He had to fight against the urge to move and find friction for it. He had to do something before Dean woke up. Couldn't let him wake up and find Sam all hot and bothered for him.

 

**_He'd never speak to me again._ **

 

Dean stirred in his sleep wiggling his body a little to get more comfortable, and in consequence, rubbed up against Sam's erection making Sam gasp in spite of himself.

 

Dean's instinct kicked in immediately.

 

**_Sam. Trouble. Protect._ **

 

His green eyes flew open and they were met with deep blue ones. His breath skipped and he forced himself to ignore the position that he had woken to. He was aware that his face was getting hot and he guessed that he was starting to resemble a sunburned tomato, but he focused on Sam, looking him over trying to find injury, only finding perfection...perfect skin, perfect lips. Dean's dick was suddenly interested in seeing if Sam was okay too. He pulled back a little so Sam couldn't feel its intrusion.

 

"'Swrong?" he slurred patting Sam's head and skin sleepily, trying to feel if there were any injuries that he couldn't see. Sam could feel himself shivering, his cock becoming impossibly hard in his pants wanting to kiss those strong fingers that touched him looking in those bright green. He wanted to kiss Dean's eyelids, his freckled nose...his lips. Oh he wanted those lips. He wanted to dig his hands in his blonde hair-

 

Sam gasped again, suddenly noticing the gash on Dean's forehead.

"What happened?" Sam propped up on one arm and turned Dean's face gently with by his chin so he could get a better look. Dean was still half asleep and fully relaxed after he was certain Sam was okay. He took Sams hand in his own for a moment to squeeze it softly before dropping his head back on the pillow, burying his face in it.

"Some crazy cow bitch tried to kill me," he said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"You could have a concussion!" Sam fretted at the back of Dean's head wishing he could stroke his fingers through that hair.

"I hope you waited four hours before sleeping!" Sam demanded, fully aware of how mother hen ish he sounded. Dean was aware of this too, because one of his hands came up to imitate his brother's nagging.

"You are lucky you even woke up this morning," Sam grumbled suddenly aware of Dean's current vulnerability, his face in a pillow, completely unaware. If he didn't have one leg in a cast he would have given the back of that beautiful skull a good hard smack for ignoring him and then run away as fast as he could. Instead he let out and irritated groan and hoisted himself up, carefully turning so that his legs were dangling off the edge of the bed.

 

His cock was still hard and aching. He needed to get to the bathroom fast before his brother noticed, but there was just one problem...

"Do you know where my crutches are?" 

Dean's hand came up and gestured vaguely towards the living room area. 

Sam sighed.

That was farther away than he would have liked.

Dean brought his head up again.

"Need help Sammy?"

Sam looked down at the tent in his pants and grumbled "no," but it was too late, Dean was up and out of bed before Sam had a chance to protest. Dean brought the crutches to his brother while Sam struggled valiantly against his erection, pinching himself hard trying to make it go down. But it was all in vain and when Dean reached his brother's side his green eyes went wide and his cheeks were bright pink.

"Well good morning to you too!" he said, handing the crutches over to a very anxious and now beet red Sam.

"Or should I say: hello to you **_two_**?" Dean laughed at his own joke as Sam's face became redder and he gave Dean a well developed bitch face which just made Dean laugh harder.

 

Dean put both of his hands up and "I surrender" pose.

"C'mon Sammy! don't be like that!" he said still laughing as Sam struggled out of the bed and was now hobbling as quickly as he could hobble in the direction of the bathroom.

"It's not like I haven't had one of those before! I was 14 once too! Hell _I_ even still-"

"OH MY GOD SHUT UP!"  Sam was now awkwardly trying to push the bathroom door open with his crutch and greatly resembled a blind flamingo, color and all, as he successfully tumbled into the bathroom shutting the door behind him clumsily. Dean could hear him on the other side fumbling at the lock.

 

When Dean heard the lock snap he sat on the bed letting out a deep shaky breath his cock swollen and hard and pants. God he had wanted to unzip Sam's jeans and stick his cock in his mouth and suck until Sam screamed. Dean clicked on the TV for the noise, but it didn't keep his tongue from wondering what Sam this cum would taste like. Dean knew that Sam would have to jack himself off in there. At the thought Dean had to fight the urge to sit next to the fucking bathroom door so he could listen to Sam's quick breathing and maybe even catch a stifled moan.

 

**_That's it. Can't take it anymore. He'll be in there for awhile._ **

 

Dean unbuttoned his own jeans and pulled down the zipper, taking himself into his hand. He started slow getting a little precum on his hands before he could pump it the way he liked. He bit his lower lip to keep from moaning out loud. He thought of Sam sitting on the toilet, flushed and breathless and imagined himself sucking on Sam's nipples. Dean pumped harder as he imagined spreading Sam's legs and sucking on the tip Sam's hard dick.

 

Dean was so engrossed in his fantasy that he didn't hear Sam clumsily reopen the door and propel himself from bathroom to the kitchen. Dean was almost to his climax when he heard the sound of crutches on tile-

"Gha!!" Dean cried out, staring wide-eyed at Sam who was blushing furiously and trying not to look at Dean or his dick which he was so desperately trying to cover up.

"Fuck Sam! You're  _stealthy_ in those things, considering!" 

"If I was a monster you'd be dead right now," Sam chastised, still not making eye contact as he rummaged around under the sink.

" ** _You'd_** be dead right now!" Dean blurted weakly.

Sam just raised his eyebrows and found two plastic bags from under the sink and then looked up helplessly at the top of the fridge where a duct tape lay.

"Need help me help there champ?" Dean asked, now decent and making his way to his brother.

"You know if I'm still so stealthy in these crutches I could always help you-"

"Don't even start, Morning Wood!" Dean interrupted him, sweeping the duct tape down from the fridge and holding it out to his furious little brother who was now glaring at him in full bitch mode. Sam huffed and took the duct tape from him, then went back to the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

 

"What the hell is **_his_** problem?" said gruff voice from behind Dean. 

Dean let out an embarrassing noise, pulling his gun and whirling around. His arm was caught mid aim by his a very tired old man who looks as livid as a wet hen.

"Why the hell wasn't the door locked, Dean?" John growled at his oldest son.

"If I was one of those crone creatures, you'd be dead right now."

Dean cringed.

Looks like he died twice today already. 

Dean put his gun away and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't hear you come in."

"Why wasn't the door locked?" Johns voice was deep and furious now and Dean could see the whiskey induced rage that was ready to flare up at any moment.

"I did lock it, sir. I did my nightly inspection-"

John smacked him hard across the face and Dean made no attempt to protect protect himself against the blow. He kept his head down not meeting John's eyes hoping in his drunken rage he could recognize his submission.

"Don't let it happen again," John snarled before grabbing his duffle bag and turning to head out of the door again.

"Where are you going?" Dean blurted out before he could stop himself.

 

John didn't turn around but stood where he was in the doorway.

"There is a lead on that bastard... I'll call you from the road. You stay here and finish off Miss Daisy and her sister."

"How am I supposed to do that, sir?" Dean asked choosing his words carefully to as to not earn another smack.

John sighed, irritated.

"Well Dean, our girls like young pretty boys who go to church. So why don't you make yourself useful and hang a cross shaped hook around your neck and go fishing in the pews!"

 

And just like that John was gone, leaving Dean gaping at the place where he had stood.

fuck.

There were **_two_** of them for fuck's sake!

They had barely survived the _first_ round with those bitches!

Dean combed his hands through his hair in frustration and let out a heavy breath.

What was he going to do now?

"Fuck!" he yelled slamming the door so hard that the ugly ass motel painting of the beach ball fell, its frame shattering. Dean groaned, looking at the shattered mess when he heard a loud _thump_  and "AH!" from the bathroom.

Dean flew to the bathroom door knocking on it.

"Sammy??"

He heard a groan through the door.

"Stay back!"

Dean made small work of the paper thin door. It didn't even take all his body weight to push the door open.

He found Sam naked on the floor sitting up against the wall and holding a hand to his rear.

"Sammy?" Dean's heart was beating fast as he went to his knees beside his brother whose face was distorted in pain.

"Fuck! My ass!" Sam groaned through gritted teeth.

**_Don't mind if I do!_ **

Deans mind chimed in.

"What happened?" Dean cried looking at his brother.

"I heard a crash and I tried to get out to help but these bags are so slippery..." Sam was saying. Dean lifted his naked body onto the closed toilet so he cold take a better look at the cast that was wrapped in plastic bags and duct tape to keep it form getting wet. He tried to concentrate but Dean was looking at Sam's body. Sam was tan and muscular for his age and God send him straight to hell if those droplets of water rolling down the subtle curves of Sam's muscles under his smooth dark skin didn't make Dean want to lick it all off. He couldn't control his eyes as they hungrily took in the sight of Sam's beautiful, naked flesh.

 

Dean's concentration was snapped when he felt the gentle, long fingers touch his cheek and he felt the dull throb of what was probably going to be a bruise from his father's misdirected rage. Dean's eyes met Sam's deep blue ones. Sam's brow was furrowed as he inspected the harsh red on Dean's perfectly formed cheekbone.

"You okay?" It came out as a shaky whisper and was all it took for Dean to snap as he gently but firmly pulled Sam to him and kissed him softly on the mouth. A part of him was screaming with delight while the other side was petrified.

 

**_Oh my god Sam will never speak to me again!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much more to come!! So much more! I hope you enjoy it!


	3. Chapter 3

 

But then Sam was kissing him back with just as much fervor, opening his hot mouth to take in Dean's tongue. His arms wrapped around Dean, his hands exploring and feeling him. One of those elegant hands moved down to Dean's chest and he let out a needy whimper that made Dean bring one has his own hands to Sam's wet dark hair, pulling Sam's head back softly. Sam let out a sexy moan and Dean licked Sam's lips then he kissed a trail from his jaw, to his sweet smelling neck, to his collarbone, to his chest. Then he licked Sam's his nipple which made Sam jolt and let out of shuttering, panting breath.

 

Oh god the noises that Sam made and the taste of his skin was making Dean's cock so _hard_. He kissed his way down Sam's abs, to his belly, his lips trailing over is happy trail before he licked the head of Sam's titanium cock. Sam cried out his voice shaky with want.

 

  
_Well looks like some dreams_ do _come true._

 

His mind said cheerfully as Dean wrapped his full lips around Sam's cock, sliding his tongue down to lick him as he went down. Sam was moaning now, making fucking filthy noises as Dean brought his head up and down, pleasuring Sam as thoroughly as he could, holding Sam's hips in place with his strong hands. He wished that he knew more about how to give a blowjob. But Sam was absolutely _not_ complaining...unless those loud quivering moans dripping with sex and want were complaints.

_Fuck, Sam tastes gooood._

Dean's own neglected cock pushed against his jeans painfully.

"Oh my god Dean!" Sam half gasped half cried.

"I love yo-"

  _Thump thump thump thump!_

Dean stopped dead.

He released Sam's dick from his mouth and gave Sam a towel and a soft kiss on his lips noting the way Sam looked, his hair wet and his naked body shivering with anticipation, his lips red from Dean's ravenous kisses and his dark blue eyes burning with want.

"You stay here baby boy," Dean said, his voice deep and husky with his own painful need. Sam just nodded, panting.

 

The knocking  was incessant and Dean looked through the hole to see the tall bird like owner at the door. Dean pulled the door open and grinned at the man who towered over him staring down at him with his beak like nose balancing a pair of glasses on his kind face.

"Hello sir, I'm Phil Daniels, the manager of this establishment," he said cordially giving him a friendly smile to reveal a row of perfect horse teeth. Dean smiled back.

"What can I do for you?" Dean asked wanting to just shut the door in his face and fuck Sam hard into that crappy tile floor.

"There was a report of a disturbance..." Mr.Daniels's large bushy brows furrowed "is everything ok in here?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry I had to open the door to get some, uh,  air and the wind blew it shut and made the painting fall..."

"Oh, I see. But no one is hurt?"

"No! no, no one is hurt....sorry about your, uh, painting."

"That's quite alright Mr?"

"Plant."

_Anonymity._

"Yes Mr. Plant. I'll have someone here within the hour to clean that up for you, and for the future we have very good fans at the front desk if you need them."

"Ok thanks, uh, thank you Mr Daniels."

"You're quite welcome."

"Ok"

"Ok" then Dean shut the door on the beady eyed bird man at the door.

At the sound of the door clicking into place it was like a puzzle piece had settled into his brain with the realization of what he had just done.

"Oh shiiiittt."  Dean groaned putting his hands to his face.

 

_Oh God what have I done?_

 

He took a breath and went to the night stand where he had his keys and snatched them up about to walk out the door when he heard Sam say "Hey!"

Dean turned in his direction but couldn't make eye contact. Sam was eyeing the keys in Dean's hands.

"Is everything okay?"

"You should finish getting dressed, someone's going to come by in the next hour to clean up," Dean said, still not looking at him.

"Where are you going?" Sam was demanding now.

He could sense the thing that he had been dreading the moment Dean's lips touched his own. Dean's regret.

"I don't know," Dean said, grabbing his leather jacket off the other bed and slipping it on. Now Sam was mad. This was just like Dean wasn't it? Running away instead of talking it out.

"You don't know."  Sam repeated, his voice sharp and his blue eyes glinting with rage and unshed tears, the dread filling his lungs, threatening to drown him.

"I don't fucking know, Sam, okay? A drive!" Dean was angry too, angry at the stupid painting, angry at his father, angry at God for making the one thing that he wanted most the one thing that he could never have, angry at Sam for being so fucking beautiful, funny, sexy and, as he had discovered, delicious. But most of all he was angry at himself, angry for being the perverted monster that would try to eat the innocence out of someone so precious.

"Where are you going to drive?" Sam asked, the tears ready to fall.

"I don't know! A diner, the library, off a cliff! I don't know Sam,  I just got to get out of here!"

"Please don't go."

It was barely whisper. A single tear was rolling down his cheek. The sound in Sam's voice made Dean look up at him. Dean felt his heart ache is his chest as though it was ready to separate itself completely to be close to Sam. He wanted nothing more than to cross the room and kiss every tear off of his face. But he couldn't. This was wrong. It didn't feel wrong, but it was wrong.

"I can't do this. It's wrong on so many levels."

His voice broke a little as he saw Sam close his eyes slowly and two more perfect tears fell from his eyes. "You're too young Sam. You're just a kid-"

"Fuck you Dean! I am NOT a kid! I haven't been a kid since you taught me how to shoot rock salt into the chest of a ghost!"

Sam was glaring at Dean now.

"Well then maybe you should be. I can't do this. I'm supposed to protect to you not strip you of all of the innocence you have."

"So if you weren't my first you would feel _better_ about it?" Sam bit out coldly.

Just the idea of anyone else _touching_ Sam or of Sam ever _looking_ at another person the way he had looked at Dean made him want to breathe fire.

"That is not the point Sam! Wrong is wrong!"

" _Killing_ is wrong! We do it for a _living_! Stealing is wrong we do that too! Lying is wrong and that's how we _survive_! I don't think that being in love with you is one of the things that I can be ashamed of Dean! I've loved you for as long as I can remember and I will _always_ be yours!"

Dean stared at Sam, his green eyes wide with the realization that he had always felt the same way. But perhaps it wasn't the idea of them always having felt this way that scared Dean as much as the idea that they _would_ feel this way _forever_. Because God knew that Dean was damned to hell already but he'd be double damned if he was taking Sam with him.

"I have to go." Dean said flatly and before Sam could say anything else, he was out of the door and in the Impala headed for wherever.

 

Sam heard the rumble of the Impala outside and listened to it tear away as he sank into the sofa and let the tears roll. Before he knew it, he was sobbing.

A freak.

That's what he was.

A freak who was in love with his brother.

A sick freak who needs cleansing.

Sam put his hands to his head and took a deep breath to still his thoughts.

"I am NOT a freak," Sam said out loud his voice strong. He steadied himself and wiped the tears from his face . He knew that Dean would not be home for some time. It couldn't be helped. And Sam? Sam had to shit to do. It was Saturday, he had a history paper due on Monday and he was not going to sit around and mope like a bitch all day just because Dean was a brooding jerk.

"Focus on now, Sam," Sam told himself as he picked up his history book. He saw that Dean had marked the page for him and it almost sent him into it a fresh batch of tears. He steadied himself as he plucked up his notebook and tried to force himself to study. It's a good 10 minutes before the fuzzy caterpillars on the page actually became words and he fell back into his natural studious rhythm. His stomach growled but he steadfastly ignored it. If he stopped now, he probably could never get back up again.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean drove and drove. He drove in one direction and could think of nothing but those beautiful blue eyes filled with tears. The way Sam tasted when he kissed him... Dean's hands clutched the steering wheel as he remembered how incredible it was to kiss Sam...

 

Dean drove and drove. He drove in one direction and could think of nothing but those beautiful blue eyes filled with tears. The way Sam tasted when he kissed him... Dean's hands clutched the steering wheel as he remembered how incredible it was to kiss Sam. It was  misty out. There was no Sun, but Dean liked it. It was as though perhaps he could truly disappear into a void. Perhaps he didn't have to die. Perhaps he could just disappear...simply not exist anymore and Sam could have a nice normal life.

_**Fat chance with dad around.** _

 

Suddenly the mist got thicker and it became hard for Dean to maintain his speed. He hadn't seen many cars along this way but he didn't want to get a scratch on his baby. He slowed down and noticed lights. As he came closer he saw the sign said "Amber's grill" and his stomach growled.

_**Hey, why the hell not?** _

He pulled into the parking lot that had a surprising amount of cars parked there already. He didn't even know this many people _**lived** _ in this crappy little town, let alone have this many people eating at a grill. He parked and checked his wallet.

 

He would have to get some more cash tonight if he got a chance. Good thing they were pretty well stocked at the motel, so food wasn't really going to be an issue, but Dean always like to have a certain amount of cash in case of emergencies. He walked through the mist letting the lights be his guide and when he went inside he was greeted by a bustle full of energy. A whole swarm of people were inside laughing and jolly as ever as though the gloom outside was, well, just that: outside.

 

"Sit anywhere you like honey" said a robust woman behind the counter. He came and sat on a stool. He looked around at the others sitting at the bar, all working folk. A man drowned his pancakes in syrup and dipped a sausage in it before taking a delectable bite. The woman beside him was reading a celebrity gossip magazine, drinking a cup of black coffee and nibbling at her hash browns.

"What can I do for you?" asked the woman from before, as she topped off the other woman's coffee. The woman behind the counter was a kind looking woman, looked to be in her 40's, pleasantly heavy from good southern cooking. She wore a pink uniform, her apron a darker checkered version of her dress. Her curled, blonde hair was cut short under her chin.  Her nametag read "Amber." 

"Is this your place?" Dean asked, motioning towards her name tag.

"Yes it is!" she said cheerfully, and that was when he noticed her eyes were a beautiful amber color and he took a guess that such as her namesake.

"Opened this place 20 years ago!" she said, smiling so that crinkles formed next to those amber eyes. She had a real smile. Dean would know, he's seen and used a lot of fake ones in his short time here on earth so far.

"There is no way you're old enough!" Dean said sincerely.

 Amber winked.

"Such a charmer! For that, I might give you a discount!" she said playfully.

"Buuuut I can't get you a discount if you don't order nothing! You look starving too if you don't mind my saying so!"

 

He _**was**_ starving.

"I put myself in your hands ma'am! You are the Lady of this establishment!" He said, bowing a little. She laughed. Dean was enjoying the much needed distraction. The man behind the counter with her came to her side. He was two heads taller than her, African American with deep brown eyes surrounded by friendly laughter lines, his hair and beard greying. He wore a white button up shirt with a black tie, khakis all under a white apron.

"Chatting up my woman are we?" he said amiably getting a glass of water in front of Dean and grinning. "How long have you two been married?" Dean asked when he noticed their matching golden rings.

"A really _**long**_ time," Amber said quickly and she and her husband laughed, while she cleared a plate away from a customer and he turned to run some food to a table beyond the bar.

"My husband owns the bar down the street, they open at 4 p.m. He opened it a week after I opened my grill because I told him that I wasn't gonna marry a man who doesn't have his own thing goin' on! He opened the bar and proposed that night!" she said pouring Dean a cup of coffee, she leaned in as she did this as though to tell Dean a secret.

"To be entirely honest, I would have married 'im anyway!" 

She sighed wistfully. 

"It's so nice to tell someone that story who hasn't already heard it before."

He laughed and so did the man who was eating his pancakes.

"We love you Amber darlin'," the man eating his pancakes said.

"Now try my coffee; it's the best coffee you'll ever taste," Amber said, turning away to continue her work.

Dean took a sip.

And holy shit she was right.

"Damn." he said, looking down at the ordinary looking brew.

Amber chuckled knowingly as she went about her business. As Dean enjoyed his amazing coffee he looked around at the people who surrounded him. They were all laughing. All happy. Some happy alone, some happy together.

How, in his misery, had he stumbled upon a place where not one other person was miserable?

 

Amber's husband (Lou his name tag said) sat a plate in front of him with a stack of silver dollars, a steak with an egg on it and hash browns on the side. Dean looked at the feast before him and he looked up at Lou who grinned.

"My wife said you look hungry. She said you look sad too. I agree if you don't mind my sayin' so. Eat up and cheer up, that's what our kids always say!"

Then he walked away, grabbing the water pitcher and filling up glasses. Every bite of  everything was incredible. He devoured his meal in front of him and he tried not to think of what Sam was doing right now by himself. He was slowly finishing his last silver dollar, not by any means because he was hungry, but more on principle, when he saw a couple walk in hand in hand.

 

They were two women both looking to be somewhere in their forties, and looking damn fine at that. Dean you look around.

"Hello there love birds!" Lou called to them as they came through the door.

"Hello Lou!" said the shorter woman with short brown hair.

"Hello!" echoed the taller one with long red hair.

"Ohhhhh!! It's the Copensons!!" Amber cried as she came running out of the side door, arms outstretched from the kitchen, giving them both a huge hug and kissing them each on the cheek.

_**What is this, Cheers?** _

"Come on in, sit down!"

Amber beckoned that they sit in the recently vacated seats not far from where Dean was drinking his third cup of coffee. He pretended to mind his own business as the two girls sat down a seat away from him, and he studied his coffee as he listened to their private conversation.

"How long's it been today?" Amber asked, leaning against the counter, her bright eyes shining.

"25 years to the day," said the shorter one.

"My word! I had no idea! I knew it'd been awhile but goodness! How old were you two?"

"I was 15, Not was 20," said the taller one blushing a little.

"Wasn't legal but we came here 'n the nice pastor Daniels married us in the eyes of God. That was a pretty big deal then, and that was when we decided that this is where we wanted to stay," said Nat.

"Pastor Daniels is a great man. Always has been. He's kept this town free of prejudice long before it was popular to do so," Amber said warmly.

Dean heart sped up.

 

**_Sam_. **

  
_**My Sam**_.

Dean liked the sound of that.

_**Maybe one day he could be-** _

His mind shot the soaring thought down from the sky. His heart filled with bitterness as he finished his coffee and left some cash on the table including a generous tip.

_**Married for 25 years? Hell no! Not me!** _

 

He left the warm, cheerful atmosphere of the diner and was embraced immediately by the gloom that had been waiting for him all the while outside. He walked out into the mist, not really ready to get back into his car, but not sure really where he was going to go next. So he walked into the little wood that lay next to the diner knowing well that, due to his recent experience, it was the last thing he should have done, but somehow he knew that he wouldn't get into trouble...call it hunter's instinct. It was broad daylight after all even if no one could tell....

 

It was refreshing walking out in the Oblivion that was the misty forest. He needed to clear his head. Needed to disappear for a little while. After walking for what felt like hours he decided to stop and sit down. His head was hurting again, his body ached from the beating it had taken the night before and he wanted to go home. 

Sam.

He wanted to be with Sam. He wanted to lay in his bed and kiss his lips and look into those beautiful blue eyes and tell him that he was so so sorry.

So sorry.

Dean felt the tears burning behind his eyes, embittered by the unfairness of it all. He needed to get up. He needed to make money. He needed to take care of Sam even if he couldn't have him the way that he wanted him. He dreaded going back. Going back and seeing what he could have had. Dean stood up and began walking back. He wandered around for some time before realizing that he was in fact lost.

_**Shit.** _

So much for his hunter's sense of direction. He walked in the direction he thought was most practical. This little patch of woods couldn't be that big. At first he thought he was making good progress when he suddenly was looking at the log he had been sitting on not 20 minutes before. He sat back down on the log.

" _ **Shit**_ ," he hissed.

 

_**Does mist get better at night? Or does it just get worse?** _

He heard a twig snap behind him and he whirled around, about draw his gun. But what he saw was a girl. She was so pretty, and had long gold hair and big brown eyes. She looked to him to be in her early twenties and wore a long dress that made her look like a standard good girl.

"Hey," she said with a sweet smile.

"Hi..." Dean responded, confused. She grinned wider now showing off her perfect array of teeth.

"You look...lost," she said, rolling her eyes, giggling a little.

"Oh no, I'm fine! I'm just, relaxing...you know, clearing my head," he licked his lips and looked her over from head to toe, giving her a smile that showed he liked what he saw, but then quickly looked away when he realized that in this setting, behavior like that would be more rapey than flirtatious.

"Anyway, you shouldn't be out here all by yourself..."

_**Way to go Dean, now you sound even creepier.** _

"You know, there are some real weirdos out there..."

  _ **OhmyGodstoptalking**_  


 

But she was giggling again, clearly unafraid by this tall stranger in the middle of the woods in the mist. "Where'd you start?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Where did you come from?" She clarified smiling that dazzling smile, "I can help you find your way back."

"Oh, I'm not lost!" Dean insisted, seeing the unconvinced look on her face, "but, you know, I can't really let you walk around here by yourself...I was just at Amber's diner," he said.

"Okay, I'll take you back," she said and began walking.

"You know your way?" Dean asked.

"Yes," she replied simply.

 

He looked at the slender figure walking in front of him. Something about that good girl outfit made her all the more desirable. Good girls fuck like bad girls wished they could fuck...if you were suave enough to get them in bed.

"So...I don't need to ask if you're from around here," Dean said trying to make conversation. She giggled sweetly.

"Been here my whole life," she responded without looking back. He was about to ask her what she was doing in the woods in the mist, when they saw the lights of the diner. She turned to look at him and grinned.

"You weren't as far away as you thought," she said.

"No I wasn't," Dean laughed, "I'm Dean," he said, holding out his hand, flashing her his green eyes that made the ladies belt. It seemed to work for her because she bit her lower lip.

"Abby," she said, taking his hand lightly in hers. She had soft hands. Sam's hands were soft-

He let go of Abby's hand gently and smiled at her. She fidgeted cutely with a gold chain around her neck. Dean noticed a small gold emblem dangling from it. Upon closer inspection, Dean saw that it was a cross. A light went on in Dean's head.

"Do you go to church?" Dean asked

_**Can I attach a hook to that?** _

"Yes I do," she said in her sweet soft voice.

"Do a lot of old people go to your church?"

  
**_Wow. Dean. What the Hell was_ that** _**?** _   


Luckily she giggled.

**_Good she seems to she see me as stupid_ and _endearing._**

 "The whole town goes to church, and there are lot of old people," she added the last part tentatively.

"Awesome," Dean said nodding.

  ** _Bingo!_ **_**Wait why would that be awesome?** _  


 Dad was the one who did most of the interrogating.

"Do you like old people?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh, yeah, no... My grandpa was thinking of moving down here, so I just wanted to make sure that he could, you know, make friends."

_**Smooth Dean.** _

"That's so sweet," Abby said smiling. Somehow she made it sound genuine.

"Can I come to church with you?" Dean blurted.

"Are you a Christian?" She asked, looking a little doubtful.

"Oh hell yeah! I mean. Yes. Praise the Lord and such..."

_**Oh shut up Dean.** _

She laughed again.

"Ok," She said.

"Okay! Let's go!" Dean said decidedly, taking his keys out of his pocket, turning toward the car door.

"But Dean..."

"Yeah?"

"That's not until tomorrow..."

"Yes! I know! I know that!"

He forgot.

"So what do you want to do _**today**_?"

**_Go home to see Sam and tell him that I need him. Lick the tears from his face and kiss him until neither of us can breathe anymore_.**

"Well I'm not from around here so...what kind of stuff do you guys do around here for fun?"

**_Yeah yeah yeah there's a case I'm supposed to be working on...but I can't really do_ shit _until Sunday. I have no leads and my heart is in pieces and this pretty girl who rescued me from the mist and knows old Christian people...._**

She simply grinned. 


	5. Chapter 5

It was past midnight when Dean finally returned home. He staggered into the motel room DRUNNNNNKKK.

"Heyyyyy Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, shutting the door behind him and barely making it to the sofa before he plopped down next to his obviously irritated little brother. Sam was still awake he was just rewriting his report in cursive as his teacher had instructed when he has heard the Impala's engine come around the corner and park.

"Ugh Dean! You're so drunk! I can smell the whisky all the way over here," Sam muttered, frustrated as he continued to write in cursive.

"I _**am**_ so drunk!" Dean agreed from his spot on the couch, raising a fist of victory above his head.

_**Of course.** _

Thought Sam.

That's how Dean would deal with things. He would run away and bury himself in anything that could fill the void: booze and sex. The last part gave Sam a chill as he turned from his notebook to have a better look at his intoxicated brother. Sure enough Sam could see lip gloss smudged across Dean's plump lips that were red from vigorous kissing. His shirt was untucked and his fly was still down.

 

Sam fought the tears back viciously and went back to work on his report. When he was done he would go to bed and sleep. Sleep and try to dream about nothing.

"Saaaaaammyyyyy!" Dean said poking Sam in his shoulder

"Whatchya doing?"

Sam snapped.

"Don't fucking touch me."

His voice was low and  venomous and it caused Dean to sit up and actually look at Sam. He looked tired and worn out and a little gaunt.

"Jesus and have you eaten anything today?" Dean was suddenly concerned.

"Not like you care!" Sam spat going back to his work trying to keep the tears out of his eyes and trying to fix his mind on his work.

"Of _course_ I care Sammy! Why haven't you eaten? There's plenty of food here-"

"Seriously, do you _**know**_ I am trying to concentrate? If you can't shut the fuck up and let me work, then why don't you go back out with that _**whore**_ you've been _**fucking**_ all night?"

Sam's tears came unbidden now.

 

For the hundredth time that day, Dean was furious and disgusted with himself. Abby had been just as much of an animal as he had predicted. What he discovered was that there was not much to do in this town but go to the movies drink eat and fuck. He had done _**all**_ of these things in one day. They had watched some random movie but he couldn't remember anything about it because he was busy making out with Abby.

 

They had gone out to the Impala where she had pushed him into the backseat, pulled his pants down and rode him. He had tried to focus on her but had ended up closing his eyes and remembering Sam's sounds....his sexy, breathy moans....and he had come a lot faster than he would have liked to admit. She had laughed cheerfully, out of breath and his heart had ached for Sam, but he had smiled anyway and promised that he would last longer next time.

 

 "Next time" had come after two of them out drinking at -Dean had burst into laughter when he saw what Lou had named it-"Amber's bar." They had their fair share of drinks, and Dean had impressed her with his amazing pool skills (while winning some money at the same time). Eventually it was his turn to push her into the Impala, lift her skirt and fuck her hard until she came with a cry, Dean following soon after. He enjoyed his release but felt like chopping off his own traitorous dick as soon as he came down from the high.

 

She had promised to come pick him up for church and he she had scampered back into the woods despite his drunken protest that she wasn't safe. She had just laughed heartily at that and had vanished before he had anything more to say about it. Then he had gone back into the bar and had a few more. Then when he was drunk enough, he got behind baby's wheel, kind of hoping that he could just die in a car accident before he returned home. Before he reached Sam. Before he come to see those beautiful blue eyes and know how he betrayed him. How he betrayed his own aching heart. Dean was certain that if a car crash didn't kill him tonight, his heart would surely kill him out of revenge.

 

No such luck, and here he was answering to Sam like he wished he wouldn't have to. And what's worse, Sam knew of his betrayal.

"Get the fuck out, Dean."

Sam had his face in his hands now, and Dean could see the tears running down his hands.

"Get the fuck out of here."

Sam repeated this quietly behind his hands, hunched over now, his elbows on his knees. Dean sat for a moment, fighting the urge to take Sam's hands from his eyes and kiss his wet, soft lips, kiss the tears from his face. Instead, Dean got up off the sofa, looking back one last time at his beautiful little brother who did not take his face from his long, beautiful scholar fingers. He walked out of the motel, taking care to lock the door behind him and laid in the backseat of the Impala. He put the pillow under his head and laid his jacket over himself like a blanket. Putting his arm over his face, Dean finally let the tears fall allowing his broken soul this opportunity to mourn the unfairness of fate and all of her bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have more time now, so these will be coming out more often! I hope you enjoy them! Comments are gold!


	6. Chapter 6

 

Sam woke up with the dawn. He had fallen asleep on the sofa again and this time there was no Dean to carry him into bed. His chest ached as yesterday's hurts came flooding into his mind and he was too tired and hungry to fight the tears and sobs that his body began to produce. After a few shuddering breaths, he was calm enough to get his crutches and propel himself to the door. He looked through the peephole and saw that the Impala was still parked outside, which meant that Dean was asleep in the backseat of it.

_**Good.** _

He thought.

_**I hope it's really uncomfortable.** _

He opened the door and smelled the fresh air. He hadn't been out for 3 days since his dad had dragged them to find out what had been eating young men. Sam suddenly wished that his leg wasn't all fucked up so he could go for a run. It was a beautiful day for it. His stomach growled. Man he was hungry maybe he should-

"Sam?"

Came a familiar voice from behind him. He turned and was greeted by the friendly face of Lindy Daniels, Mr Daniels's daughter who went to school with him. She was a pretty girl with dark hair and dark skin, her eyes were a pretty brown behind her glasses and she was about 4 inches shorter than Sam.

"Hey Lindy," he said as cheerfully as he could muster. He knew that his face is probably incredibly puffy from a whole night of crying. If she noticed, though, she made no indication.

 

"What are you doing up so early?" Sam asked.

"I'm on my way to church," she replied with a smile.

"Your dad taking you?"

"No, dad has to stay here and keep an eye on motel."

"How are you getting to church then?"

"It's just in walking distance."

"Oh," Sam nodded and looked at his feet.

_**Now what?** _

Sam was about to tell her to have a good day at church when she said, "Do you want to come with?"

Sam spared a sideways glance at her and was suddenly glad at the opportunity to **_not_** be here when his asshole brother woke up and came snooping around...and Sam _**definitely**_ didn't want to be there if Dean decided that Sam _**wasn't**_ worth snooping around for.

"Yeah sure! Let me just grab my wallet!" He said, and turned to go back inside.

 

He went into the little kitchen, grabbing the memo pad and a pen and thought about what he was going to ride. He didn't want Dean too worried but he really didn't want his brother to find him. If he could help it, he didn't want to see Dean's stupid face for the rest of the day...

**_That, or the rest of forever._ **

Sam's mind added dramatically.

" _ **Went to study. -Sam**_ "

He scribbled on the little  pad.

There, now Dean knew he was safe, but didn't know where he was.

Sam grabbed his wallet and stuffed it in his back pocket, noting how badly his clothes need to be washed. He had worn them to bed two nights in a row. He shut the motel door behind him and Lindy led him to the church.

 

Dean heard a tapping at his window.

**_Sammy!_ **

His mind cried and his eyes flew open. In his half sleep state, he had forgotten all that has transpired the day before, but it all came crashing back into his mind when he saw Abby smiling and waving outside his window. He gave her a weak smile back to try and hide his sadness that curled itself into his chest like a black snake. He got out of the car, greeting her with a smile and an awkward kiss on the cheek.

"Lemme just brush my teeth," he said. She nodded and smiled her pretty perfect smile. 

 

He stood at the motel door for a moment holding the key, his heart beating frantically, his tongue feeling like a lead weight in his mouth, dreading opening the door. He knocked on the door. Might as well let him know that he was coming in. There was no sound on the other end. Dean sighed. Either Sam was still sleeping, in the bathroom, or was deliberately ignoring him. He sighed shakily and unlocked the motel door, praying that Sam was in the bathroom or something...

He opened it and took a look around. His heart spiked with a sudden panic. There was no one here.

"Sammy!" Dean demanded of the empty room as he stalked around, looking behind the bathroom door, checking the closet-

  
**_Oh he came out of_ that _yesterday_**.

Dean's mind chirped.

His heart was beating frantically now as he wandered into the little kitchen and saw that piece of paper on the crappy plastic fold out table.

" _ **Went to study-Sam."**_

**_When did that little bastard wake up?_ **

 

Abby led the way down the hill. The church was only a block down the street. As they filed into the pews, Abby took his hand so as to not get separated. She gave him a suggestive smile which he returned. He glanced around at the people who were now taking their seats. He searched for ugly old women, not able to forget those hideous faces covered in blood that he'd seen just two nights ago. As he searched he saw a face that made his heart jump into his throat.

  
**_Sam_**.

God he was beautiful, his soft brown hair that his dad always bugged him to cut laying perfectly against his face. His beautiful blue eyes, his elegant neck, those beautiful soft lips that were....smiling? Someone was talking to Sam, whispering, but some fat lady was in the way so he couldn't see who it was... Ok the fat lady was moving and-

who the fuck was _**that**_ bitch?

Dean could feel himself staring, scowling. She was cute, and judging by Sam's beautiful smile, funny and judging by those glasses on her lovely face, nerdy.

Dean hated her.

 

He tried to distract himself by focusing on the task at hand, tried to look at some of the other people now that they were all holding still. But he couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes away from Sam. His eyes looks red from what Dean was sure was from crying. He wished so badly that he could have been the one sitting next to him right now, whispering in his ear, making him smile. Suddenly he realized that the girl sitting next to Sam was looking at Dean curiously and then she said something to Sam that made him turn and look.

 

Dean whirled around and focus on the front where a tall guy who looked a hell of a lot like Mr Daniels with white hair stood at the podium.

"Hi, I'm father Daniels."

**_Ah._ **

"Today we are going to talk about **_bla bla bla_**..."

Dean couldn't concentrate now that Sam was sitting right behind him right with that **_girl_**.

Suddenly Abby squeezed his hand and he looked over at her. Her eyes motioned down to her feet where her panties were hooked around her ankles. She kicked them away under the pew in front of her and Dean's eyes darted up at anyone who might be looking, feeling his face go red. She giggled softly at his obvious embarrassment. No one seemed to have noticed her meddling or her giggle, so he squeezed her hand and grinned at her.

 

Sam watched the back of Dean's head and suddenly the bitch he was sitting was giggling. It made Sam want to beat her over the head with his crutches.

"Do you know that guy?" Lindy had asked him.

"He's staring at you."

"Yeah, he works for my dad," he had replied, trying not to cringe.

 

After the sermon was over, Dean and his bitch get up first, the lovely blonde pulling Dean away like he was her puppy. As they passed, Dean whispered just loud enough for Sam to hear "Studying my ass."

That's when Sam kicked out one of his crutches just far enough for Dean to stumble and nearly face plant on the church floor.

"Careful  ** _pal_**  or you might need a pair of these  yourself." 

Dean glared at him blushing as the blonde girl laughed and tugged him. Dean swung an arm around the girl's shoulders deliberately and Sam felt his fury melt away into sadness that he couldn't express.

"This way," said Lindy cheerfully as they went out into the clear day. It was crisp out, so Lindy put a sweater on over her pretty shoulders.

"Come get breakfast with me Sam," Lindy said. Sam was happy to take the invitation and they went to a place called "Amber's diner."

 

Everyone there seemed to know each other and smiled at one another. The place was busy with positive energy and Sam found it hard to stay miserable surrounded by such kind people. The food was either the most superb food he'd ever eaten, or he was just starving...or both.

"So who was with that guy at church?"

 Sam open his mouth to lie, but Lindy was way ahead of him.

"Don't lie."

She took a bite of her toast and looked at him expectantly.

"He's a total asshole and I hate him," Sam said before he could think. Lindy nodded in understanding.

"I don't think you really hate him," she said in a matter of fact sort of way, "So what did he do to you?" "He's just a jerk."

"So you like him but he doesn't like you back?"

She was taking a sip of her ice tea now and Sam just looked at her, mouth slightly agape.

"He's pretty cute, and he was totally staring at you, so maybe he does," she said shrugging as though it was most normal conversation in the world for two 14 year olds to be having.

"He doesn't, ok? He's a jerk and he's obviously already found someone else that I'm going to move on," Sam said, nodding is head in determination as he took another bite of his omelet.

"You're really nice Sam, and you're really smart and I think you're really cute. That jerk might not understand, might not know what he had, but someone else out there will."

Sam was taken aback by the softness in her voice and she smiled at him sweetly.

"Hey have you finished your report for Meagan's class?" She asked suddenly, putting some ketchup on her hash browns.

"Yeah, I'm just finishing it up and in cursive for tomorrow" Sam responded suddenly feeling more uplifted with the normalcy of the exchange.

"Maybe you could come over and help me with mine?" She asked,  "I'm having a hard time putting it together."

"I'd love to."


	7. Chapter 7

 

Dean and Abby got to the hotel room just as she was unbuttoning his pants. He did a quick inspection, making sure no one else was there before he shut the door and locked it. She pulled his pants down and tugged him over to the couch. She never took her skirt off, but instead removed her top, so he did the same. Unclasping her bra and sliding his tongue over her nipple, causing her to tilt her head back and moan. He was usually very good at compartmentalizing. Dean had been able to push thoughts away well enough yesterday, but yesterday he hadn't been surrounded by the smell of Sam. Shampoo, pencil shavings, coffee, and that _**unmistakable**_ Sam smell. A smell that Dean could recognize from nights lying next to him, from the smell that he left on his pillow when he had gone to school...the smell of his discarded clothing that he left in the bathroom. Sam's smell. The smell of home.

 

Abby fumbled with his pants and pulled out his half hard dick.  She started to pump it slowly but to no avail. Dean couldn't keep the smell of Sam out of his mind. The couch was a bad place to do this, seeing a Sam spent most of his time on the couch doing homework and falling asleep with his leg propped up on the crappy little coffee table. She stared to stroke it more vigorously but he couldn't get hard... She was frustrated now, her brown eyes looking up at him with confusion.

 

"I'm sorry I must be tired or something," said Dean sheepishly.

"It's that guy from church isn't it?" Her brown eyes were now golden with anger.

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw how you looked at that _**guy**_ -that _**kid**_ in the church!"

Dean just stared at her. She pushed him off with impressive force and he toppled over the couch. She was up and dressed before he could say another word.

"You'll regret this!" she screamed and slammed the door was so hard the replacement painting that was brought yesterday came tumbling down with the crash.

**_Shit._ **

 

*********

 

"Sam?" Linda said 

"Hmm?" 

Sam had been reading Lindy's history outline and had been making notes. He looked up and saw that she was looking at him with a nervous expression.

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?" She asked me blushing profusely.

"Um...yeah...."

He could feel himself blushing too. Weren't they supposed to be studying?

"I don't mean to embarrass you or be weird.... but I have...I've never kissed a boy before..."

Sam stared wide-eyed at her for a moment not knowing what to say.

"Its just that my sister is really pretty and she's kissing boys all the time and...I don't know, there is just something about you that makes me think that you... ** _understand_**...I want to at least try it once _..._ "

Lindy's blush deepened and she looked back down at her homework.

"Never mind. Please pretend like I didn't say anything. It's stupid."

 

Sam cleared his throat.

"If we're going to do this, I think you have to come over here," he said, grinning shyly and gesturing at his leg that he had propped up on another chair. She smiled broadly she came to him shyly and knelt beside him, looking into his eyes.

"Tell me if I breath smells bad," she blurted, looking worried. He just smiled and pulled her into a soft, chaste kiss.

**_Take that Dean!_ **

He heard something drop on the floor and he pulled away.

"I think you dropped-"

And that's when he saw it lying on the floor. It looked like a cow tail and it was coming from under Lindy's skirt.

Lindy's eyes were wide with with fear.

"Oh my god," she said, putting her hands to her face and standing up to make space between them. Sam stared at the tail in wonder. Lindy was standing against the opposite wall, her tail wrapped around her leg in the position of awkwardness.

"Holy shit, you're a Huldra," Sam croaked.

"Oh my god you really **_are_** a hunter..." said Lindy, putting her hand to her mouth as tears began to slide down her face.

"Did you...did you kill all those guys-"

"NO!" Lindy cried "no! I'm not violent! I was just trying to push that guy away from my sister! He was trying to kill my sister-" she was rambling as she sobbed, the tears like tiny rivers making their way down her pretty face.

"Then who killed them?" Sam demanded

"You **_know_** , don't you?"

She was just staring at him now, her lip quivering.

"Lindy, you **_have_** to tell me!"

She looked down at the floor, sniffling.

"Tell me everything."


	8. Chapter 8

 

Dean was halfway through a bottle of whiskey when Sam burst in.

"You didn't you lock the door again!" Sam exclaimed as he propelled himself to where Dean sat on the sofa.

"I was 'specting you!" Dean slurred, pointing at Sam with the half empty bottle.

"Shit, you're drunk again. Damn it Dean! We need to talk!"

"Go talk to your little **_girlfriend_**!" Dean threw back at him drunkenly. Sam clamped his jaw shut in frustration and Dean could see Sam's jaw working as he tried to calm himself down. 

"You know what, fuck you Dean! This is serious! They're Huldras!"

Dean blinked at Sam a few times, trying to process the word, trying to sort through the jumbled mess that was his drunk and jealous mind. Nope nothing.

"Wait, what?"

"Huldras are woman creatures who have a cow tail and eventually they can turn into crones....though they usually can't change back, but you know how lore can get jumbled, but they come out of the rain sometimes, the-the mist-" Sam was babbling frantically, letting all of the information tumble out of him like a stream and Dean was suddenly paying close attention. His words were making sense...

**_The mist huh...God it's so sexy that Sam is so smart...he's even hotter when he's all flustered like this..._ **

"They're beautiful and sweet but they have super strength and they are incredibly moody. They don't usually eat hearts but..." Sam kept babbling, completely unaware of Dean's inner thoughts.

"Dean, one of them is trying to get rid of her tail and she thinks that by eating the heart of her ex-lovers she can take their power and win a husband." Sam was out of breath and Dean had to stop himself from pulling Sam's face to his and mauling Sam's sexy smart mouth with his tongue. Despite his urge he was very sober all of the sudden.

"So what do I do? How do we kill it Sam?"

Sam suddenly had a pained expression in those beautiful blue eyes.

"You have to marry her," he said quietly.

"What?"

It came out as a croak.

"You have to marry her in a church and then the tail will fall off and she'll become a normal girl."

"And **_then_ ** I kill her?" Dean clarified. Sam looked at Dean, his eyes letting a out a silent plea and Dean wanted to give in. He wanted so badly to touch that soft hair and caress Sam's skin and with his lips-

**_Damn it Dean, concentrate!_ **

"There's more Dean. Abby, that **_girl-_** "the word came out hateful "that you've been seeing... She's the one doing it."

Sam swallowed hard and looked at Dean for his reaction.

"I gathered that," Dean said, nodding and swirling the dark liquid in the bottle.

"Do you think you can kill her?" 

It came out as a sad squeak.

"She's **_killing_** people, Sam. She's a **_monster_**. Her and whatever her friend is, they are **_monsters._** We **_kill_** monsters, Sam, not marry them and live happily ever after."

Sam just stared at him.

" ** _What_**?" Dean demanded.

"I just thought you liked her is all-"

"There is **_one_** person I love, Sam. **_One_**!"

It came out faster than he could think to stop himself that he immediately blamed the whiskey.

  
**_Fuck_**.

Now Sam was giving him those big, beautiful dewy eyes that made Dean just want to vanish inside of that dark blue.

"I'm gonna go find her," Dean said quickly and charged out of the room.

 

Sam flopped on the sofa, shocked and exhausted. He sat there for a few moments trying to calm down. Did he really mean it?

Did Dean love him?

Sam knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dean loved him as a brother. Anything beyond that though, Sam had his doubts. Sam had come to believe that perhaps what had happened between them briefly had occurred because Dean had been over charged with emotion and had been trying to find an outlet. Sam  recalled the feeling of Dean's lips on his skin and it just made him sadder. Whoever said "It's better to loved and lost" had obviously never lost or had never loved.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean knocked on the door a few times before it opened slowly, the chain on the door still securely fastened. That girl that Sam was with in church was looking through the crack in the door at him with wary eyes.

"Hey, is your sister home?" Dean asked quickly, wanting to get this shit over with as soon as possible. She looked down, staring at her feet.

"Go away, hunter," she said to the floor.

"I'm not here to kill her, I'm here to marry her... Can you tell her that?"

Suddenly her brown eyes darted up to look at him. She still looked scared, but her eyes softened, and a tiny glint of hope was there.

"I'm sorry I pushed you," she said quietly.

"Well that's all forgiven, we _**are**_ in-laws now," Dean said with a shrug.

"I'm sorry but I haven't seen her since you two left church..." she said biting her lip.

"That's fine. Do you know anyone who will do a flyby wedding?"

"Grandpa will. He'd be happy to do it! It was his wife you know... The first one that we know of in our family...to be...like us..."

Dean caught her meaning and nodded.

"Go ahead and call him to make it arrangements, we need to get this done as soon as possible."

She gave him a funny look and he cleared his throat.

"My boss- Sam's dad- he's moving us tomorrow to continue work elsewhere and he won't let me take Abby with him unless it's for a really good reason, and I figure if we're married he'll have no choice but to let me take her with."

"Oh," she responded, her pretty eyes looking sad, "when will I get to see my sister again?"

"Um, she'll, you know, send you mail...she can call you and stuff...we shouldn't be going that far, so you'll definitely see her," he said, nodding, hating how difficult it was to lie to her.

"So, make the arrangements, and I'm going to go try to find her.

 

It was a clear day, so driving around to look for her would be easier than the day before when it had been all mist and mystery.  It was hard to believe that so much had happened in only 2 days. For hours he searched, going from place to place that they had been together and then in places that they hadn't been together. Then he looked again calling Lindy from his from a payphone to see if  Abby had come home at all just to hear a negative from the other end. It was starting to get dark so he hit the bar again. 

**_This would be a nice time to find a handsome, vulnerable Christian boy who has a thing for smoking hot, blonde goody two-shoes!_ **

But just like the last time he checked, he found nothing. He was about to turn around and keep looking when suddenly Lou flagged him down.

"Dean! Hey kid! There was a call for you!"

**_Oh good! Thank God, maybe all this shit will end._ **

Lou passed him a note written on the back of a napkin. All it said was "Call me," and then had a phone number listed. He frowned at it, but went to the phones anyway and made the call. He heard the other end pick up.

"Abby?" Dean asked desperately.

"Who the fuck is _**Abby**_?" John Winchester's voice on the other end snapped.

"Dad! I'm sorry I was just expecting a call-"

"Dean... I think I left the room key in the forest..."

"What?" Dean choked, confused.

"You need to move rooms, because if anyone found that key you and Sam will be in a lot of danger, so do as I say **_now_**."

"Yes sir," Dean's heart started beating frantically but he didn't know why.

"Alright then put Sam on," John said.

"Sam's not here dad, this is a bar..." Dean said confused again.

There is silence on the other end and then "Dean, get back to motel now-"

But Dean had already taken off running to the Impala.

 

**_Please God no._ **

  
**_Please_**. 

**_He must be in the shower, he must be, that's why he didn't answer dad's phone calls because he was in the shower and his damn leg makes him so damn slow._ **

But Dean knew that John wouldn't have resorted to calling a local bar to get ahold of Dean if he hadn't tried the room at least a hundred times.

**_Damn dad and his stupid backwards ideas about fucking cell phones. Why didn't he just listen to uncle Bobby?_ **

**_Sam. Sam. Sam._ **

It was his prayer.

**_Sam. Not my Sammy._ **

**_Please don't take my Sammy._ **

He didn't even bother to properly park the Impala before bursting into the unlocked motel room. He glared around and found no Sam.

**_Don't panic, he might be studying with Lindy or something._ **

But if the horrible pit in his stomach was 

notenough of an indication that there was something terribly wrong, it was the abandoned crutches still leaned against the couch. Wherever Sam was, he hadn't gotten there on his own.

"Sammy!" Dean screamed. There was no answer. He ran to the doorway, using the threshold to hold him up, his despair sinking into his chest, crippling him, tears falling unbidden from his face.

"SAMMY!"

There was no answer but the echo of his own voice. 


	10. Chapter 10

 

When Sam woke up, all he could process was pain. He had heard the front door open and had thought it was Dean, a little confused as to how it could have gone by so quickly. He was sitting on the tattered, worn sofa that directly faced the door and had been reading the old book of Norwegian folk lore that he had forgotten to return to the library over a year ago. He was studying up on the Huldra when he had heard the door open, looked up and saw no one there. Suddenly he got a whack over the head from behind and he saw a black.

 

Now he also he also saw black: a black sky, the beautiful moon, all of the stars shone unhindered and glittered on their dark stage, and tall, pale trees reached towards them. The night was crisp and cold; he thought it felt nice.

**_What a beautiful night._ **

Sam wondered if Dean could see this...

**_Wait...where am I?_ **

**_How did I get here?_ **

He heard a strange rhythmic sound coming from somewhere around him and it took him a moment to realize that it was the sound of digging. It started coming back to him in trickles. The book on his lap, the  sound of the door opening, door standing open but no one around and then a searing pain in the back of his head that made him see white that became darkness.

"Oh, you're awake," a soft voice said.

He could barely move, but he didn't have to because now a tall, beautiful blonde, Abby, was standing over him with a frown on her face.

"I'm really sorry about this but really I have no other choice," she said casually.

"I want Dean, whoever you are, and he's mine now and we are going to live happily ever after."

Sam swallowed hard and tried to tell her that she seems to have it all figured out when he realized that there was a gag in his mouth.

"But," she continued, "he's in love with you and I just can't have **_you_ ** at the back of Dean's mind when we decide to get married and have children."

**_Oh Fuck._ **

He felt himself lifted by his arms and he saw his useless legs trailing on the ground and she dragged him from where he had heard the sound of the dirt being penetrated by the shovel. His cast bounced against exposed tree roots as she effortlessly transferred him. He realized then that she had tied up his arms behind him. He tried to reach his knife in his back pocket, but there was nothing there....

"I thought," She continued casually as she dragged him,"that perhaps I overreacted about him staring at you in church...but then I went back to apologize...and who do I find looking as though he was _**right**_ at home? You."

He felt himself falling and he landed with a thud, pain zinging all through his body, his bound hands crushed beneath his weight and his legs bouncing uselessly. He felt the back of his head his the soft exposed ground, the back of his head sore from being hit twice in once day. That's when he realized that he was in the hole that she had been digging.

 

She sighed, now in his view again. She knelt down next to the hole and looked at him pityingly. She hadn't even broken a sweat, which made sense because Huldras where said to be able to bend steel as easily as a paper clip. Her pretty face was arranged in an expression of disappointment.

"I don't hate you," she said softly, biting her lower lip looking down at him with sad brown eyes.

"You don't deserve this. I know, believe me. But Dean and I, we deserve to be happy and I think with some time, you'll be able to understand that."

She looked up the sky and then back down at Sam and she hopped into the grave with him, pulling out a dagger. It was Sam's. No wonder he had not been able to find it in his pants.

"It's a beautiful night and the stars are going to be the last thing you see. I'll give you a beautiful and peaceful death. You deserve that much at least."

She tilted him over with one hand like it was nothing and Sam felt such a sharp pain in his wrists that it him cry out behind the gag. At first he thought that perhaps he had fucked up his arms with the fall, but then he felt warmth going down his arms and he knew that she had slit his wrists. She laid him back down gently on soft earth and smiled at him strangely.

"You'll be dead before Sun up... I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me and to send a good word to my mother in heaven? Please tell her that everything I did was for love."

And with that she hopped out of the grave and he heard her gasp.

 

"Holy shit, Lindy! You scared me!"

"What are you doing out here?"

He heard Lindy's voice and Sam tried to yell through his gag but Abby said loudly "Nothing Lindy!"

She sounded annoyed.

"Dean's looking for you."

He heard Lindy say and Sam's heart froze and he kept quiet to listen.

"He is?"

"Yes. He asked daddy for your hand and he wants to marry you!"

Lindy sounded excited.

"Oh my god!"

Abby sounded choked up

"See! I told you Lindy! I told you it would work! It was a shame to sacrifice them, but the men who rejected me helped me get my husband at last!"

"We have to hurry, though, he wants to do it tonight!"

There was silence.

"Tonight?" Abby's voice sounded a lot less excited and a lot more wary now. 

"Why so soon- Oh my god, Lindy, do you think he knows?"  

The pause couldn't have been more than 2 seconds but for Sam it was like two hours.

"No."

Lindy lied suddenly.

"He said he that his boss is going to be moving them soon for business and that he probably won't let him take you with him unless you're married."

"That makes sense."

Abby sounded overwhelmed.

"Well **_that's_** not very romantic!" Abby blurted, and Lindy laughed cheerfully.

"Come on! I got you your white dress from formal last year!"

"I'm so excited!"

"Come on!"

The sound of their voices grew smaller to Sam's ears as the girls rustled away. And then there was silence as Sam stared at the beautiful stars. She really **_had_** found a peaceful way for him to die. He was suddenly very tired and he was about to close his eyes and fall asleep and dreamed a Dean, of his lips on Sam's, and how it felt to be in the sunshine of Dean's love for a whole damn 10 minutes before that fucking asshole knocked on their door and broke the spell.

 

That's when he heard someone heading back to the pit and he opened his eyes slowly. They felt so heavy. In the moonlight he could barely make out Lindy.

"Sam," she hissed, climbing down into the pit with him. She tore his shirt from the bottom with ease.

Huldre strength.

Sam wish he had some now. She flipped him over and tied his wounds tightly. She was sniffling and her breath was quivering from fear.

"So sorry Sam," she whispered hastily. He could hear in her voice that she was crying. 

"I need to leave you in here in case she checks on you, but don't worry, I'll get help. So please don't die Sam."

She threw the dress she had been wearing over him and he realized that she must have run back under the pretense that she was changing. She flipped him back over using the thick dress, making him into a burrito. It was warm, so it did the job. Her worried face was looking down at him now.

"Please don't die," she repeated, flicking the tears from her face with her dirty fingers. Then she scrambled up in her pretty dress and disappeared into the night. Sam laid there and stared at the stars, and his eyes fell shut against his will.


	11. Chapter 11

 

When Dean saw Abby enter the church with her sister, holding a bouquet of wildflowers with a brilliant smile gracing her lovely face, Dean wanted to wrap his hands around her throat until she told him where Sam was. But when Dean saw a glimpse of blood on Lindy's blue dress, he had to turn away to bottle his despair. He only prayed that he wasn't too late. That she was holding him hostage somewhere...

**_Yeah, you hold on to that hope buddy._ **

 The hunter in his mind jeered.

He gathered all of his composure and turned to smile at his bride to be. Lindy was smiling too but she had to look in her eye, a look of urgency. When Abby joined Dean beside the pastor, he could see tears in her eyes. This was a the happiest moment of her life, and if she wasn't  murdering, psycho monster, he would have almost felt sorry for her. The exchanging of the vows was all a blur for Dean all of his will power was in full function to not run and try to find Sam. Funny, Dean had never seen himself getting married, but he figured that it might turn out like this. Him standing beside a beautiful woman, completely incapable of thinking of anything but Sam. 

 

Lindy produced the rings from God knows where and they were pronounced man and wife.

"You may kiss the bride," said Pastor Daniels, and when Abby threw her arms around his neck to kiss Dean in the final seal of matrimony, he wanted to vomit, but kept it all in and even managed to smile affectionately at her before turning to the cheerful crowd. Sam always said that he sucked at hiding his intentions, that the tough guy act really didn't hide anything.

**_Well look at me now baby. You can't be right all the time._ **

He hugged Mr Daniels who patted him on the back and Lindy smiled at Dean. He smile was too tight and she hugged him close whispering "I know where Sam is."

His heart started to beat frantically in his chest and his tongue went numb.

"Is he alive?"

"Yes," she said, and he had to choke back a sob of relief.

She pulled away and walked to her father to hug him. Dean heard a soft thump of something falling on the floor, and Lindy rushed to her sister's side to keep her from fainting. Once Abby was stable, and smiling at Lindy reassuringly, Lindy discreetly picked up whatever had fallen and wrapped it up in her shawl, looking around her to make sure no one had seen.

"You okay?" Dean asked, snaking his arm around Abby's tiny waist and walking her to the exit. She looked a little pale.

"Better than okay! This is the best moment of my life!" She said weakly. Losing her tail must have taken a toll on her, because she swayed as he led her to the Impala which was parked right up front with the "Just Married" painted on the back window and cans tied to its back end. She got into the front seat and he got into the driver's seat and they made their way back to the motel. She waved at her family who all stood happily on the church steps. He went around the corner and down a dark road.

"Where you going?" She asked.

"You'll see," he said, smiling at her and pulling over next to the woods. He got out of the driver seat and opened the passenger door lifting Abby to stand and then swiping her off of her feet, carrying her bride style. She wrapped her arms around his neck and chuckled happily and Dean knelt down awkwardly to open the back door. He pushed her into the back seat and she giggled and he crawled on top of her after shutting the door behind him and she was laughing happily...until she saw the knife. Her brown big brown eyes look sad and scared.

"No," she protested weakly.

"You're a killer Abby. I'm sorry."

Dean suddenly felt very tired.

"No Dean, please-"

but he covered her mouth gently with one hand and pushed the knife into her heart. A few final tears left her brown eyes before the life followed them.

 

"Oh my Go-od!" Lindy screamed, her hands coming up to her mouth when she saw Dean at the door, his hands bloody and holding a dagger. Mr. Daniels saw him and cried "What's the meaning of this? Where is Abby?"

"Why don't you tell him what's going on?" Dean directed at Lindy.

"Lindy? Honey?" Mr. Daniels said.

Lindy was crying now still looking at Dean.

"Let's all sit down and have a nice talk ,huh? We're family now."

Dean couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice.

Mr. Daniels pulled his daughter away and fearfully sat in the living room sofa, motioning to Dean that he do the same. He looked at the blood on Dean's hands and clung to his crying daughter harder. He understood that he was trying to be brave, and he suddenly felt very terrible for this man.

**_Sam. Sam would want me to be kind._ **

It seemed that Dean had always strived to be the kind of hunter that his father wanted him to be...and the kind of **_man_** that Sam wanted him to be.

**_I wonder if that's even possible._ **

Dean sat down on the sofa across from them, putting his hands on his knees and feeling the blade with his thumb.

"That's better. Now tell me tell me everything," Dean growled at Lindy.

Lindy tearfully explained everything...about the first time that Abby had been dumped, about how she believed that eating the hearts of those who had romantically scorned her would be a welcome sacrifice and earn her a husband, about the hunters in the forest, about sneaking into Dean and Sam's motel room after John had left the key on the forest floor.

Abby had wanted Lindy to kill them while she herself disposed of the body of her ex lover. Lindy had never killed anyone, but she was terrified of her sister. When she snuck into the motel room she saw crucifix's and holy water and a bible all next to the bed.

Dean didn't think it necessary correct her by explaining that he kept it for exorcisms. So to Lindy's logic, that made Dean a Christian which meant that he could help Abby become human. Lindy convinced Abby to keep Dean alive, and never said anything about Sam. All the while, Mr. Daniels was looking at his hands, looking pale.

"You said Sam is alive," Dean said after Lindy seemed to be finished.

"Yes," she said, getting up "let me take you to him."

"No Lindy!"

Mr. Daniels grabbed his daughter's hand.

"But Dad-"

"No!"

Mr.Daniels was staring stubbornly at Dean now.

"What are you going to do to Lindy?"

"Well that all depends-" Dean started

"BULLSHIT!"

"Dad!"

"She's a good girl. Her curse makes her different, not violent. She attacked you in the woods out of self defense and she's never hurt anyone. True, Huldras feel the call to wander and they become crones for a night every new moon, but they've never hurt anyone before...Lindy wouldn't hurt anyone," Mr. Daniels was choking back tears now, still clinging to his daughter's wrist.  

Dean stared at the man coldly.

"Dad! Please! Sam could **_die_** out there! We've wasted too much time already!

"No! Not until he promises not to hurt you!"

"Let me get one thing clear," Dean said, his voice a frigid growl "if Sam's dead, then so she and if I don't find Sam in the next 20 fucking minutes, I will assume that he's dead and I will fucking slit her throat and I would **_love_** to see you try to stop me."

Dean's eyes were like green flames, rage pumping through his veins like lava boiling in a volcano. After a moment of the two men glaring at each other, Lindy slowly released her father's hold from her wrist.

"It's okay, daddy," she said sweetly and kissed her father on his head. Dean stood up and she led him outside. 


	12. Chapter 12

 

"Sammy? Sam?"

Sam felt water dripping against his face and heard someone wailing his name. He opened his eyes slowly and two beautiful green eyes filled with tears came into focus. As Sam came to, he observed that beautiful jawline, and those plump, soft lips that were made for kissing and he as he slowly regained his senses he tried to figure out what the hell is going on.

"There you are. There you are my Sammy," Dean was whispering, cradling Sam's face gently in his hands. 

"Dean?" Sam whispered.

"Yeah, baby boy, it's me."

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying! **_You're_** the big **_girl_**!" Dean protested more tears falling down his cheeks, "I thought I'd lost you there."

Dean bumped his forehead against Sam's, brushing his lips against his, Sam's moist breath: evidence of his life going into his mouth, touching his tongue. Sam caught Dean's bottom lip between his own and Dean's breath hitched as he covered Sam's lips with his own, parting them with his tongue, Sam's brushing against his warmly until they parted with a soft *chu*.

 

Dean let Lindy go home because Sam insisted, telling him that they could decide her fate tomorrow after he'd had some sleep, stitches and food. Dean drew Sam a bath after delicately cleaning, sanitizing and stitching his arms which were already showing some heavy bruising where the ropes and the shirt had been. He had scrapes from when he had been dragged and the back of his head was sore from where he had been hit. Dean kept grumbling about how lucky they were he didn't get hyperthermia to which Sam kept reminding Dean that they had Lindy to thank for him being alive. 

 

Dean helped Sam undress carefully, his eyes full of concern and concentration. Sam found it unnervingly erotic having Dean's calloused fingers brush against his skin accidentally, barely touching the surface, having Dean's green eyes drifting over his skin. Sam particularly loved it when Dean's eyes would land on Sam's lips and fill with longing for just a second before dragging their attention back to the task at hand. It was hard to miss Sam's restless naked boner, and Dean had to shift while he worked, his own erection becoming uncomfortable, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. Finally Dean lost the fight and began to lovingly lay soft kisses on Sam's neck, making them chaste to drive Sam crazy. Sam was practically purring as he leaned into Dean's caress, and Dean brushed over Sam's tan skin with his fingertips and his lips. He pulled away from Sam, their noses almost touching, Dean's eyes flickering from Sam's lips to his eyes, back and forth.

"You should probably um," Dean licked his lips as his eyes dropped to Sam's again, "get in the bath." Sam laid tentative hands on the collar of Dean's shirt, then laid his palms flat on Dean's strong chest. Feeling Sam's touch, having Sam so close to him made Dean's already painful erection squeeze against his pants longingly. Sam began to unbutton Dean's over shirt, staring into those beautiful green eyes all the while, filled with lust and challenge until Dean couldn't take it any longer and cupped his brother's face in his hands, kissing him with tenderness and hunger. Sam parted his lips to deepen the kiss, meeting his brother's need, feeling as though if he stopped, he'd die. Sam pushed his long scholar's fingers under Deans shirt and Dean moaned into Sam's mouth.

 

Sam felt more confident after that, slipping his tongue in Dean's mouth, sliding it against Dean's, sucking Dean's tongue and biting his bottom lip gently as he pulled away so that they could look at each other. Dean made a little grunt of protest.

"I need help bathing," Sam whispered.

"Yeah baby? need to get those places you can't reach?"

Dean's voice was low and husky now. Sam nodded, his hands still exploring Dean's skin under his shirt, making Dean incapable of rational thought, his senses heightened more than he had ever experienced. "Take off your clothes," Sam commanded, his blue eyes dark and smoldering under his brown bangs. Dean didn't have the patience for ceremony. He stood back and pulled off both shirts and Sam had to slow his breathing down his heart beating frantically in his chest and he felt a lump in his throat because **_holy shit Dean is fucking perfect_**.

 

He had seen his brother without his shirt a million times before, but he had never felt like he had actually been allowed to **_look_**. Now he could see that perfect white skin dotted with freckles. And all that complaining Sam did about dad training them too hard? He stood corrected. Sam gave into the sudden urge to kiss a few of those sweet freckles on Dean's collar bone, and Dean moaned.

 

God did Dean love the feeling of Sam looking at him, kissing him. He wasn't going to lie, he knew he looked great, the ladies never ceased to tell him, but this was Sam. Fuck hunting and shooting pool and getting wasted and being a sex god! If Dean was made for something, it was for this, for loving Sam and being loved by Sam. Sam ran those elegant fingers down his chest and Dean shivered. He knew what he would have to do in order to get into the tub with Sam, but he couldn't help but feel ridiculously shy when his hands went down to his belt buckle with Sam watching his movements with studious intent and awe. Dean felt himself blush as he unbuttoned his jeans and his  hard, thick cock came bursting out into the open air.

 

**_I want that._ **

Sam's brain demanded. Sam had never imagined wanting something inside of him as badly as Dean's hard leaking cock. Dean made himself eye level with Sam and pushed his brown hair gently from his face, green peering into blue before he gently lifted Sam placed him carefully into the bathtub. The water was boiling and steam was rising from Sam skin, but he relished the heat. He felt Dean slip in behind him, acting as a cushion for Sam, making his awkward position of one leg sitting out of the tub a lot more comfortable. Sam leaned against him, feeling right at home, and Dean wrapped one protective arm around him, and squeezed water out of a wash cloth with the other. Dean delicately washed away any remaining blood and dirt with the washcloth, kissing along the newly stitched wound. He washed Sam's hair, kissing his neck and his earlobe, Dean all the while cradling Sam close, Sam who seemed to fit perfectly with Dean.

 

Dean left his fingers explore Sam's beautiful body; he ran his fingers down his firm stomach and then used his other hand to tilt Sam's head back so he could kiss him deeply as he wrapped his fingers around Sam's hard cock. Sam whimpered with need, and Dean pushed his tongue into his mouth, pumping Sam's cock slowly, teasingly and with every stroke, Sam ground his ass on Dean's erection, causing Dean to make his own needy noises. They fell into a high paced rhythm, and Dean thought, proudly, that he may be able to hang on a little longer until Sam wrapped one arm around Dean's head, and took Dean's cock in his other hand and began stroking it in rhythm.

"Oh god, Sammy!" Dean moaned, his breathing becoming panting.

Sam couldn't think in words anymore, so he decided that actions might be best at this point. He grabbed Dean's hand from his cock and gently guided it lower to his tender opening.

"Oh fuck Sam!"

Dean knew he'd have to be gentle, he wanted to pleasure Sam not hurt him, so he teased the opening with his pinky before slipping inside a little and just like that Sam was coming with a filthy cry. He had held on for an impressively long time for a hormonal teenager. As Sam lay against Dean's chest, coming down from his high, panting, he looked up at Dean who was staring into his eyes. He kept stroking Dean's dick doing all the things that he liked on himself, running his thumb along the head.

"I want you inside of me Dean," Sam whispered his lips and eyes begging. That sent Dean **_right_** over the edge and he grabbed the back of Sam's neck, kissing him before crying out into Sam's mouth as he came. He couldn't remember the last time that he had come like that. He broke off his kiss and nuzzled his nose into Sam's neck, wrapping both arms around Sam tightly, and let out a groan of satisfaction. Sam sighed, snuggling deeper into Dean's embrace.

"This isn't clean anymore," Dean murmured sleepily against Sam's neck. Sam giggled and yawned.

"No, I think it's time to get out," Sam agreed.

 

Dean took his time drying Sam, making a show of towel trying his shaggy black hair and laying sweet little kisses on his lips, and nose all the while. They fell asleep wrapped up in each other. Sam fell asleep first, exhausted after the day's events and safe with his brother holding him tight. Dean took a little while longer to fall asleep, still needing to listen to Sam's steady breathing, needing to feel his warmth to convince himself that Sam was okay, alive, and safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! One more chapter to go after this one for this first segment! Expect the last chapter by the 26th of this month, and the first chapter of the next segment should be ready by the 28th at the latest. My handwriting is terrible to decipher, but it's coming along! I hope you're enjoying it!


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, it was back down to business. As promised, they knocked on the Daniels' door early after the Sun rose. Mr Daniels answered looking shaken, pale and exhausted. He obviously hadn't slept the entire night and Sam felt terrible for him. Its hard enough that his daughter died, but finding out that she had murdered three people couldn't made the blow any easier. Mr. Daniels motioned them to come in, so they did, sitting once again in the living room. Lindy was already sitting on one of the sofas, so Sam and Dean took the seat across from her. Dean helped him with his crutches and after they had settled, Sam could feel Dean's arm on the back of the sofa behind him, an unspoken connection, that unphysical touch. Lindy's father sat beside her and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders.

 

Phil Daniels looked over Sam's bruised body, he had cuts on his face and he was pale, with bags under his eyes. Dean had wrapped his stitched arms in gauze but it didn't hide the bruises that blossomed like ugly blue and yellow flowers all over his arms.

"I'm glad to see that you're...alive..." Phil Daniels croaked, "after what..." he had to stop to take a few breaths, his kind eyes filling up with tears. There was an untouchable silence now, there was so much mourning, so much sadness and guilt and anger floating around this room. But this had to be dealt with, so Sam decided that he would have to be the one to broach the subject.

"Lindy, I know you didn't hurt anyone and I am confident that you never will...of your own volition-"

"What the hell does **_that_** mean?" Mr.Daniels asked, his voice wavering with emotion.

"Dad?" Lindy said quietly in almost a whisper.

"What, honey?"

"I'm hungry, daddy, can you make me a sandwich?" Lindy looked at her father, her eyes soft behind her glasses.

"Is this a good time for a sandwich, sweetheart?" The kind man asked his daughter.

"Yeah, I'm really hungry," Lindy responded, giving him a reassuring smile. Mr. Daniels looked down, contemplating for a moment before he nodded. He went to the open kitchen area where he set up his sandwich making station at the table facing the two younger men directly so as to watch their every move.

"Don't you dare touch my baby," his eyes said.

Lindy leaned forward a little, her face serious.

"If you're going to kill me, please tell me when and where so that my dad doesn't have to see. I'll leave him a note...telling him that I've gone...that I-I've run away so he won't..." she started crying now and put her hands against her face. She was quiet enough that her father didn't seem to notice her crying, but he never broke his hawk like gaze on the brothers.

"Listen, Lindy," Sam said, not bothering to lower his voice "it's a huge risk if we leave you here the way that you are and neither of us can marry you because it requires...consummation...either before or after..."

Sam was suddenly feeling much more uncomfortable, trying to push away that annoying voice in his mind that reminded him that Dean did a little "consummating" himself. Dean seemed to be thinking the same thing, because Dean leaned in closer to Sam, his arm inching just a little bit closer to his younger brother.

 

Lindy was staring at him now, hanging on to every word, looking frightened and desperate.

"Even so," Sam continued, "there are other options...I think...it's the tail that makes you wander, it's what gives you those terrible mood swings that you've surely noticed..." 

Sam was so busy explaining things that he didn't notice what Dean noticed: Mr. Daniels who had been spreading the peanut butter was listening to what they were saying.

"If we could remove the tail, Dean and I could take it far away from you so you would no longer hear its call..."

Lindy had all of her attention on Sam now, her eyebrows furrowed.

**_The same look she has in history class when she's concentrating._ **

The unbidden thought came drifting through Sam's head.

"I don't understand," Lindy said, "how would I remove it?"

"You'd have to cut most of it off. You'd still have superhuman strength and the ability to heal quickly, but you wouldn't change into a crone and whatever is left of your tail will fall off when you get married for real-"

"Unless you'd like a taste of what your sister had before her...little _**accident** ,"_ Dean winked at her, and now both Sam and Lindy were looking at Dean with wide-eyed disbelief.

"Why would you say such a-"

The rest of her sentence was a shrill scream and she took a deep breath before fainting into her father's arms.

 

While Sam and Lindy had been deep in conversation, Mr. Daniels had taken his butcher's knife out of the knife block and gave Dean a questioning look and Dean gave him a slight nod. While Dean had been distracting Sam and Lindy with his horrid remark, Mr. Daniels had closed the distance between himself and where his daughter sat, and quickly took hold of her tail, chopping it off with one hard swing.

 

He gently laid his daughter back while blood soaked into his sofa. He was breathing heavily and he lifted the cow tail and tossed it to Dean. Dean caught it and hastily wrapped it in his over shirt.

"Is it enough?" Mr. Daniels asked, looking like someone had wrung him of all of his emotion.

Dean looked at Sam who nodded.

"Is she going to be okay?"

 As much as Dean had protested when Sam said it, the kid had a point: if it wasn't for Lindy, none of this would have gone down smooth.

**_If it wasn't for Lindy, I wouldn't have Sam._ **

"My sister is a nurse, she's staying only two doors down; she can help me. Also, Lindy heals very quickly because of her condition," said Mr. Daniels, who already had a rag and was working to stop the bleeding.

"You two had better leave," he said.

Sam and Dean both nodded and they left without a word.

 

They walked back into their own motel room and began packing their things quickly.

**_What you're doing is wrong._ **

Sam folded clothes and packed them in the duffle bags since he couldn't walk, while Dean methodically made his rounds to erase any trace that they had ever been there, bringing things to Sam to fold and pack.

**_How could you do this to your brother? He's fucked for life now._ **

He was going about his business determined concentrated until he came across the wrapped up tail that he had placed in the sink.

**_How does it feel to rob the cradle?_ **

He took it from the sink and held it gingerly, walking it to Sam who was busy packing the toiletries that Dean had given him. Dean held it out with both hands, Sam balance on one foot and took it carefully laying it down in the duffel bag.

**_How did you think this was gonna turn out?_ **

It hadn't gone stiff, it was still warm, as Sam supposed it would be until the day Lindy got married or the day she died. Dean stared at it for a moment until he realized that Sam was looking at him, inspecting his face.

**_You're sick Dean._ **

"What?" Dean asked feeling shameful under Sam's gaze.

"You okay Dean?"

Sam reached up a hand and touch the yellowing bruise on his brother's beautiful cheek bone.

"Don't," Dean said quietly, tilting out of reach and zipping up the duffle bag.

"Don't what?" Sam asked.

Dean looked up slowly into Sam's beautiful blue eyes that were already glowing with hurt and fury. Sam was smarter than most and caught on to things quickly.

"We...we can't do this. It's my fault I'm so weak-"

"You have  ** _got_** to be fucking with me," Sam said flatly, his eyes not leaving Dean's.

"I'm sorry-"

Suddenly there came a pounding on the door and Dean took the much needed opportunity to run to the door to see who it was.

"Dad."

Sam's heart dropped.

Just like Dean to drop a fucking bomb like that and then run away, leaving Sam feeling like he was falling into a deep pool of misery. Dean flung the door open and John grabbed him into a deep hug that he kept brief, as John had always kept his emotions. John came to hug Sam as well and patted him on the back hard and backed away to turn to the brothers carefully.

"I came as fast as I could. I got in the car as soon as I got off the phone with you Dean."

John sounded torn up, his voice carefully controlled.

"I shouldn't have left you boys here alone...and Dean," 

Dean looked at his father

"I shouldn't have...doubted you," said John looking wrecked. He looked at the floor a moment to compose himself and then cleared his throat loudly.

"Well, let's get a move on, shall we?" said John grabbing one of the duffels and heading out to the car. "Come on Dean, let's go!" He shouted over his shoulder. Dean grabbed a duffel, swinging it over his shoulder and looked at Sam again. Sam glared at him without moving, and Dean turned and headed out behind his father. Sam stood there for a moment gathering up the pieces of himself as his world crumbled. He let out an agitated huff as he fought his tears, and then gathered up his crutches and followed his family.

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this first installment to a very large piece of work that I am slowly moving from my notebooks onto my computer. There is a happily every after, I promise! Comments are gold!


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